When things fall apart…

February was a tough month. It just felt like wave after wave of grief was coming my way, and I had no time to come up for air.

Early on in the month we lost my young cousin in a freak accident. Shock waves radiated through the family and we all had trouble consoling one another. Not long after that, my sister in law suffered a miscarriage – to see her distraught expression just broke my heart each time.

Then my mum fell ill and had to be rushed to hospital. She was there for over a week and it was a crazy rush of school rounds and hospital rounds and preparing special food for her and making sure my father was okay and then taking extra care of her once she got discharged. We were just catching our breath, when a gastric flu came knocking at our door – starting with my husband and then each child in systematic order until it felt like I was running an infirmary here!

By the end of the month, I was running on reserve fuel. I was at the end my wits, both mentally and physically. My husband knew that I needed a break and so last weekend, he sent all three kids to my mother in law – I got some well deserved peace and rest.

The thing is, as my husband explained to me, that we humans run around trying to do so many things but we forget the most important thing – it is Allah who does! Subhan Allah. We forget that the first thing we should do is it turn to Him. We are so busy asking from our family members and friends and doctors, but did we even stop to ask from Allah Ta’ala? Sit down on the musallah, cry and beg from Him, talk to Him…He is waiting to here from us.

Alhumdulillah, with Allah’s help we got through everything. Sometimes Allah tests us to bring us closer to Him and if we use the calamity to gain His closeness then it is indeed a blessing. We all have to return to our Maker one day – let us use every opportunity to gain His pleasure and draw from his treasures. When things go wrong, turn to Him first. And when things are going smoothly, praise Him first. He is waiting… Just raise your hands and He will never disappoint you…

South Africa Ablaze

We watched in uncomprehending horror at the images of our beautiful country being totally ravaged. What apparently started out as a protest, shockingly spiralled into such brutality and devastation that we had never witnessed before. Nothing was spared, and overnight people lost their businesses, their jobs and their sense of security.

Alhumdulillah my family and I were kept safe by the brave men who stood guard on our streets. Before the police and army could arrive, it was these community men who barricaded and patrolled the streets, throughout the night in the freezing cold. May Allah Ta’ala reward them immensely.

It was a strange feeling to wake up and realise that you can’t just go to the shop and buy a loaf of bread. That the little milk you have has to be carefully rationed. It was humbling to have to receive handouts because there was no other way to get your necessary groceries. It was so, so heart-warming to see the community get together to help each other out. People went out of their way to assist others, relief organisations were working around the clock and the generosity of spirit just shone through. I desperately required nappies for baby Z and I managed to receive some from a kind-hearted soul whom I had never met before!

It is with heavy hearts that we look towards the future and try to rebuild our country again. Everything looks so bleak right now – our hearts are simmering with anger and burning at the injustice of it all. You hear stories and see the horrifying images and your heart just shatters into pieces. But one thing that the criminals cannot take away from us is HOPE. Hope in Allah’s mercy. Hope in Allah’s plans. And hope that Allah will replace us with something better, insha Allah.

We can take so many lessons from this trying time. We can let this test be one that brings us closer to Allah. Let this be a reminder that we are not made for this world…that there is something better, much better, that awaits us on the other side. We were wondering down the path of complacency, of ingratitude, of wastefulness, of sin and vices. Let us now turn to Allah with hearts filled with remorse and retrospection. In these blessed days of Dhul Hijjah, let us bring our homes alive with zikr and recitation of the Holy Quraan.

I know that this year our Eid will be a subdued affair. Some of us have even had our animals looted from the farms. May Allah Ta’ala accept our sacrifices, reward us for our struggles and may we bring the spirit of Ebrahim عليه السلام into our lives.

و مكروا و مكر الله و الله خير الماكرين…”And they plan and Allah plans, and Allah is the best of planners.”

If anyone requires anything, you are more than welcome to email me on mummymuslimah01@gmail.com and I will try my best to assist.

Take care and be safe

Wassalam