Ramadaan Preparations

The beautiful month of Ramadaan is right at our doorstep – our hearts are waiting to accept Allah’s special mercy and heal spirituality, Insha Allah! The girls are very excited, already planning their sehri and iftaar menus and waiting to do all the Ramadaan inspired crafts. They are older now, so the spiritual part of Ramadaan also appeals to them and they can’t wait to meet this special month.

I have to admit that I’m very delayed with my savoury-making this year. With this horrendous loadshedding, I was reluctant to prepare too early. So these past two weeks, I’ve been frantically preparing our favourite savouries, cutting and marinating meat, baking our favourite cakes – all to help save precious time during Ramadaan. I mean, the last thing I want to do is slog away in the kitchen for the entire month! We do that the rest of the year, as it is, so for this one month we can worry less about our stomachs and more about our spiritual rejuvenation.

We sat down and made a Ramadaan count down chart which they can eagerly cross off at the end of each fast. I’m planning on downloading some Ramadaan colouring pages and activities for the girls to do, and I got a few inexpensive toys to keep Baby Z occupied during taraweeh time. I bought these cute ramadaan trackers and ‘I am fasting’ badges from Thawaab Bubble.

However, and I must stress this, preparing for Ramadaan is so much more than just the savouries and decor. It’s about turning back to Allah Ta’ala, it’s about reconnecting with the Quraan again, it’s about focusing on our Aakhirah instead of our dunya.

I noted down a few points as to how we can achieve maximum from this month and draw fully from the treasures of Allah Ta’ala:

1. Keep a Ramadaan journal and write down your goals for the month – how much tilaawah you want to read, how much of zikr you want to make. This will serve as an encouragement for you throughout the month.
2. Make a dua list so you don’t forget any important duas especially during tahajjud time as well as at iftaar time when duas are readily accepted.
3. Keep renewing your intention throughout the month; that everything that you are doing is solely for Allah Ta’ala.
4.Remove all enmity and grudges from your heart. If you are not on speaking terms with anyone, then try to mend the relationship before Ramadaan.
5. Those of you with young kids, try not to feel despondent if you can’t do as much ibaadah. Seeing to your kids is an ibaadah in itself, and zikr is your saviour – while breastfeeding, with rocking your baby, while doing school rounds, even while busy in the kitchen. Remember that by facilitating your family members’ Ramadaan, you are also getting a share of the reward.
6. Involve your children too – little ones can have a Good Deed A Day chart or help set a tray to take to the neighbours. For older kids, read to them about the special bounties of this month, make a Quran reading competition and sit and make dua together.
6. Try not to become lax during the days of haidh. Read extra zikr or some good Islamic literature, visit a sick person or listen to the programmes of the Ulema.
7. Try and give extra charity throughout the month. Feed the poor, share your goodies with the neighbours or even cook a meal for someone who is unwell.
8. This is the month of gratitude – I’m planning on doing a Gratitude Journal with my kids and everyday we’re going to write down three things that we are grateful for.
9. Draw up a timetable for how you want to spend the odd nights – don’t let any second go to waste! Try to get rid of time-wasting activities before the month begins and spend as much time as you can in ibaadah.
10. Try to sort out Eid clothing and Eid gifts before the month starts so we are not wasting any time roaming around the malls and scrolling through Instagram.
11. Take time for Eid preparations but don’t let it consume your last few days. Every moment is special and we don’t want to have any regrets once the month has passed.

All in all, try to exert yourself to the maximum during the month! We have the rest of the year for shopping, cooking elaborate meals and socialising – just for this month let us focus on our relationship with our Creator. And let us make an intention to carry on nurturing this bond even after Ramadaan has passed.

May Allah Ta’ala allow is to see Ramadaan in the best of health, may He accept all our efforts and may He always count us from among His chosen slaves.

Please remember me and my family in your special duas!
Wassalam

When things fall apart…

February was a tough month. It just felt like wave after wave of grief was coming my way, and I had no time to come up for air.

Early on in the month we lost my young cousin in a freak accident. Shock waves radiated through the family and we all had trouble consoling one another. Not long after that, my sister in law suffered a miscarriage – to see her distraught expression just broke my heart each time.

Then my mum fell ill and had to be rushed to hospital. She was there for over a week and it was a crazy rush of school rounds and hospital rounds and preparing special food for her and making sure my father was okay and then taking extra care of her once she got discharged. We were just catching our breath, when a gastric flu came knocking at our door – starting with my husband and then each child in systematic order until it felt like I was running an infirmary here!

By the end of the month, I was running on reserve fuel. I was at the end my wits, both mentally and physically. My husband knew that I needed a break and so last weekend, he sent all three kids to my mother in law – I got some well deserved peace and rest.

The thing is, as my husband explained to me, that we humans run around trying to do so many things but we forget the most important thing – it is Allah who does! Subhan Allah. We forget that the first thing we should do is it turn to Him. We are so busy asking from our family members and friends and doctors, but did we even stop to ask from Allah Ta’ala? Sit down on the musallah, cry and beg from Him, talk to Him…He is waiting to here from us.

Alhumdulillah, with Allah’s help we got through everything. Sometimes Allah tests us to bring us closer to Him and if we use the calamity to gain His closeness then it is indeed a blessing. We all have to return to our Maker one day – let us use every opportunity to gain His pleasure and draw from his treasures. When things go wrong, turn to Him first. And when things are going smoothly, praise Him first. He is waiting… Just raise your hands and He will never disappoint you…

The Ramadaan Rush

Assalamu alaikum

I hope that everyone’s Ramadaan is going well. I can’t believe that we’re halfway through already – the days are just flying! Hopefully we can draw from Allah Ta’ala’s treasures even more during the rest of this month.

I have to admit that I am finding this Ramadaan quite tough! It was much easier last year, when Baby Z was still in my stomach! This year though, there’s three kids to see to – our day starts early with Madam M having school and our bedtime routine now has taraweeh thrown into the mix! There’s homework, madresah sabaq, feeding, changing, plus trying to read extra Quraan, cooking, and entertaining all to get done during the day. Not to mention that I’m breastfeeding, so that also tires me out a lot.

Iftaar time is total chaos in my house! It almost always coincides with Baby Z awakening from her nap, so I have to cuddle her and feed her and sometimes change her. All while I’m trying to finish off with my iftaar preps – Madam M keeps asking how many more minutes till she can eat and Little S needs to go to the toilet “sooo badly.” You know, I see posts on Instagram of perfectly laid out iftaars, with fancy breads and platters – and I must admit that I wish that my table looked like that. But with three kids I don’t have the energy or inclination to go through so much of trouble; not to mention that they are too young to appreciate all that right now. But I do feel a tinge when I look at my sad iftaar table which doesn’t even have a tablecloth on because Baby Z is at the grabbing and yanking stage!

Breastfeeding during fasting has really left me feeling drained out and super thirsty! I try to drink as much water as I can at night – I even keep a bottle of water by my bedside to drink after night feeds. And what has really helped is having a power smoothie for sehri – a combination of dates, peanut butter, almonds and milk. I’m not really a smoothie person but this is really giving me an energy boost. And I do try to nap during the afternoon but this doesn’t always work out. Baby Z naps while Madam M is at madresah, but that’s the time Little S wants my undivided attention to do crafts and play together. Doctor, Doctor is my favourite game right now because I can catch a few zzz’s while she checks me up!

The girls are enjoying Ramadaan although Madam M laments over the days when we could do our Ramadaan reading and crafts in peace, and there was no one to upturn our Kajoor plate! I bought a few inexpensive toys and crafts to keep them busy and that really worked out well – especially at taraweeh time. At the moment, they are keeping themselves occupied by making eid cards for family and friends We haven’t left the house at all, except to visit my mom and in-laws. Alhumdulillah, our eid clothes and shoes were sorted out before Ramadaan started, so no crazy running around required this year!

I have to admit that I have been reading much less Quraan and nafl salaah this year. By the end of the day, I am so exhausted that I just crawl into bed and fall asleep straight away. I sometimes feel like I’m missing out on the great blessings of this month – just when you sit down to read, someone needs to go to the toilet, or wants a snack or just needs to ask you a “very important question!” I was feeling quite despondent that most of my time was spent tending to the kids, the house and food preparations. But then I listened to a lecture and the Moulana was saying that if we make the correct intention, every act that we do during the day will definitely reap immense rewards. Allah Ta’ala is so merciful and He knows our good intentions – He sees our struggles and He will not let it go in vain. He explained that we can do other meritorious deeds such as giving extra charity, sending food over to the neighbour or giving a poor person something to break his fast with. And because we are facilitating our family members’ Ramadaan, we will definitely get a share in their reward. Zikr has been my saviour this Ramadaan – while cooking, while rocking the baby to sleep – it’s so simple to constantly remain in the remembrance of Allah Ta’ala.

May Allah Ta’ala accept our efforts and make the rest of this month full blessings and forgiveness. Please remember my family and I in your special duas.

Wassalam